You always catch people talk about ‘being someone in life.’ Society seems to think that it’s essential to be someone in life in order to feel succeeded in life. But the expressions: `being someone in life` or `being a nobody` can both have detrimental effects on people.
I’ll tell you why: numerous people worldwide (85% to be exact) suffer from low-self esteem. That is massive! Every single one of these people already feels like a failure because they think that they, someway, somehow don’t fit into society’s picture of a successful person. So it’s no wonder that you find yourself asking: `Why do I feel like a failure?` when you lie awake at night.
Why is `being someone in life` so crucial within our society?
Why do most people perceive you as being better than others once you become successful? Well, the cause of all this stems from our innate desire to feel important to someone.
Back in the days when we still lived like a caveman, it was essential to be loved and accepted by others. You had to be part of a group to stay alive at that time. So when nobody liked you or no one needed you, you were at risk of being entirely alone. And since almost no one survives on their own in the jungle, chances are, you wouldn’t be able to either. Essentially it is our survival instinct that drives us to be relevant and vital to others.
Why do we value job titles?
People value degrees because then they can introduce themselves to others as a psychologist, accountant, marketer, dentist, or even an M.D. Some think it’s an honor to be an artist, or others prefer to be a beloved football player or a professional cyclist. But aren’t those all just masks we used to hide our true selves?
Why do we hide behind those `masks`?
Why does it mean so much to us to be relevant to others? Why do we want to have the means to carry weight? As we come to think of it, in this day and age, we don’t need others anymore to secure our existence. We are perfectly capable of being self-reliant.
Besides, we are already valuable as a person. Why would we need a famous (job)title to be relevant! We are not machines. We are flesh and blood, human beings, living beings, spiritual beings. Every single one of us is a unique person who brings its value to the table. There doesn’t exist another person that is the same as we are. Everyone is unique. Isn’t that more than enough?
Animals don’t care about succeeding in life, so why would we?
Animals don’t need `to be someone, ` and they don’t need to succeed. They never feel like a failure at all! People label them as pets, farm animals, steeds, or wild animals, although animals never think about themselves in that way. They perceive themselves as an animal that fully enjoys life.
The need to feel useful
There is, of course, nothing wrong with building a fabulous career. Also, it is a basic human need to feel useful or to be at service. We just shouldn’t let our value as a human being depend on a diploma or a job title. It is a big mistake to define our identity and base our self-worth on our professional achievements.
What if something goes wrong in life, and suddenly you lose everything? What if you can’t practice your profession anymore, or you have to leave your career behind because of an illness? What remains if you’ve always identified yourself with your job title? What will happen if the only thing that gave your life value is suddenly gone?
What life is all about…
If I look at the ones in my environment that are currently unable to practice a profession or career, I am convinced they are the ones that provide the most valuable lessons to others. And therefore, they are the most useful to our society. Those people are the most courageous and admirable people I know.
A great example
They are, in my opinion, a great example to many because of the way they approach life, the way they look at things, and the thoughts they choose to think. I have rarely seen people deal with numerous life challenges in such a courageous fashion as them. A person of such caliber proves that the actual value of a person has nothing to do with a label or career.
From whom did I learn the most?
I learned the most valuable things from those people mentioned above. I look up to them because all of them had to deal with terrible setbacks, yet they approach them in an extraordinary, creative, and compelling way.
Coincidence? Or not?
And now you can say yes, that may be a coincidence, but that’s not true. It’s precisely the ones perceived by society as `being a nobody` (because they can’t practice a profession at the moment), that are the most invincible and mentally stable people I know. That proves to me that it’s ridiculous that society thinks that `being somebody in life` is necessary because it doesn’t say anything about the strength and perseverance of one’s character.
You are a person of enormous value, one way or another!
You don’t have to `be someone in life` to be valuable to others.
It is useless to be a successful business manager, career woman, teacher, manager, or doctor if that is the only thing you have to define yourself. Because when you lose your job title, you have nothing left.
By feeling like a failure, you can discover your core value.
People who currently are a `nobody, ` according to the norms of society, actually show their true identity by addressing obstacles and challenges in life. They don’t have any societal masks to hide behind. When you have nowhere to hide anymore, you have no other choice than turning inward and digging up your inexhaustible life force.
By overcoming tremendous hurdles and struggles, these survivors show their real invincible nature, and they discover what wood they are carved from. The way one overcomes significant challenges and obstacles says a lot about one’s character. And this is the only thing that truly defines one’s identity, not superficial things like job titles, careers, or accomplishments.
Be your authentic self!
You can be an excellent example to others, by merely being your true authentic self. If you are still tempted to ask your self: why do I feel like a failure? Make sure you think back upon all the struggles and obstacles you have overcome in life.
You have made it this far, and if you are determined to choose happiness despite all setbacks, and deal with your life obstacles creatively and positively, you are well on your way to expose your real invincible character to the world. And isn’t that the kind of example we actually need in this society?